Backpacks are packed. Lunches are made. Water bottles are filled. Hair is brushed. Shoe laces are tied.
We’re out the door…shockingly on time.
Until the youngest has pee dripping down his legs and into his freshly tied shoes.
Back inside. Change the clothes. Meanwhile, the other two are no longer corralled, and no longer dressed. The middle is digging in his backpack for his snack that is supposed to be for snack time at school, but he has decided he needs right now instead.
And this is a typical Tuesday. Rinse and repeat for the rest of the week.
So where, in the chaos, does a mom find time for herself?
How does one find time to “self-care” as I’ve seen this the new buzz word swarming around the internet?
Because here’s the thing.
As moms we serve our family before ourselves. More times than not. Plates are served on the table and littles are asking for helping #2 before our bums even hit the seat next to them. Coffee is never hot. Luke warm would be a gift but it’s almost always cold. I often make a meal out of what’s leftover on the superhero plates on the messy table.
Once they’re out the door to school, after whatever hurtles it took to get them there, floors need to be cleaned, dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be folded. And every day the same song and dance is repeated. There’s simply no time left over once the check lists are complete.
School pick ups and soccer practices run our afternoon schedules.
Dinner, bath and bed never go as smoothly as I hope.
And once they’re tucked in bed, the house needs decluttering. The wet towels need to be hung up to dry. The prepping needs to be begin for the circus to continue the next day.
I’m not complaining. Please don’t misunderstand. I know how blessed I am to tend to this messy stage of motherhood. But aside from all the mom guilt I place heavily on my shoulders, I often add not making time for myself on top of that hefty load. I feel guilty when I don’t self-care, but then I feel guilty when I do, too. On the rare occasion that I do step away from my natural role as a mom, my heart often races with guilt about someone else picking up the slack so that I can have a moment to myself.
Often times I’m so busy putting everyone’s needs before my own that that’s nothing left to give at the end of the day. Even to myself. You see, makeup is rarely on my face. I sometimes have to stop and think about when my last shower was. I’m often in yoga pants even though I can’t recall the last time I was in a yoga studio.
But even if self-care is far and few between. I would trade my role as circus director for another other job in the world.