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Take the trip…with kids.

Our recent beach trip with kids had us questioning our sanity about 90 times per day. At any given moment one of my three kids were crying, fussing or complaining. There were epic battles to apply sunscreen and wrestling matches that involved bathing suits, goggles, and life jackets. I felt like a pack mule loaded down with snacks, and boogie boards, towels, and swim diapers.

But after it was all said and done, after I’ve caught up on sleep, I still say traveling with my kids is wonderful. Not because it was relaxing. Oh no. It was far from that description. But the memories we made as a family far exceed the effort, sweat and tears we put into making that trip happen.

I still say it’s worth it.

I don’t travel with my kids so that they will remember it, because I’m fairly certain they will only recall mini snippets of our trips at this age. I also don’t consider a trip with young kids a relaxing vacation. It’s actually a lot more work than staying home, if I’m being honest. But we travel with our kids to create family memories. Because even when it’s utter chaos (and there will be chaos), we laugh at the madness that is our life. There are no perfect photos. It’s only real life. But it’s our life. And I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

So take the trip…with the kids.

Will it be hard? Absolutely.
Will there be meltdowns? Yep.
Will you make lasting memories as a family. For sure.

Dear son, I’m not here to be your friend.

Dear Son,

I’m not here to be your friend.

Maybe in 15 years we can be friends.

But not now.

Right now, friendship with you is far from my priority.

My role in your life, is teacher, caregiver, protector, encourager, motivator, the lead by example type of Mama. And that means I love you to the end of the Earth, but I’m not really bothered if you don’t like me all the time. And I hope one day, you’ll understand. One day, when you’re a parent too, you’ll understand the monumental task I tackled when I became your Mama.

Being your Mama means I need to teach you manners, and life lessons. It means I’m not going to protect you from every fall because I want you to learn to fly. It means I’m going to side on the sideline and be your unconditional cheerleader for life. It means I’m going to discipline when I see fit, correct when necessary, and teach when needed. It means I’m going to provide my best balance of shielding you from from the outside world and letting you shine in it. It means guard your heart with my life, but also gradually give you the independence you deserve.

Being your Mama means I’m going to expect you to be learn how to be humble and confident all at once. I’m going to expect you to be thankful and mean it. I’m going to expect you to be kind to everyone even if I don’t expect you to be friends with everyone.

Here’s the thing, my son.

My goal as a mom is to create and build a well balanced adult. I’m tasked with raising boys into men. And I’m certain that in order to accomplish that great task, you won’t like me all the time. So I don’t need to be on your friend list.

I’ll hold out for BFF status when you’re an adult.

For now, I’m just your Mama.

You have to lose patience to teach patience

Sometimes you have to lose your patience with your kids, in order to teach them patience.

Hear me out, friends.

Motherhood comes with it’s fair share of highs and lows. And those highs and lows can come on quick. They can flip like a switch. Just when you think it’s all going your way. Just when you think you have it all figured out. Just when you think you have control.

You lose it.

That’s motherhood.

It’s a constant adjustment to the game plan. It’s a change on the fly, learn as you go kind of gig. And it’s not for the light hearted.

So it comes with the territory that during motherhood, you’re going to lose your patience. And not just once, but time and time again.

And I’m here to tell you, sweet tired mama, it’s ok to lose it sometimes.

It’s ok to lose your patience. To lose your cool. To lose your sanity.

In fact, it’s not just ok. It’s just plain normal.

In order to teach kids patience you have to lose it sometimes too. “Losing your patience” is a well known phase because that’s exactly what it is.

Lost.

Gone.

Cannot find it.

Motherhood can be completely overwhelming. Sometimes we completely lose our cool. Sometimes we completely lose our patience.

But that doesn’t mean we’ve completely failed our kids.

Watching an adult lose their patience teaches kids that everyone has a breaking point and they’ve just seen yours. It teaches kids although they are the center of your world, they are not the center of the entire world. A valuable life lesson, for sure.

It teaches kids how to lose your patience and recover from it. Sometimes reaching your breaking point is what you need to build yourself back up, and find a different solution to the same old problem. Sometimes it takes hitting a wall, before we seek change.

So to the Mama at her breaking point, give yourself a break.

You didn’t ruin your kids if they see you lose control and lose your cool.

Here’s your permission to not hold it all together all the time. Here’s your permission to forgive yourself when you lose your patience. Here’s your permission to give yourself grace. Here’s your permission to completely lose it sometimes.

There’s still good out there

It’s hard to avoid the loud hum of negativity in the news headlines. Most days, I can’t even listen to it. Mainly because since becoming a mom, I internalize every story that even remotely involves children. But also because I try to shelter my kids from the negativity for as long as possible.

If I could keep them in a bubble always, I certainly would. If they never had to practice lock down drills at school, I would be able to relax a heck of a lot easier when they were away. But our sad reality is that there are those tough headlines. There are terrible, heartbreaking stories that involve real people. Real families. Real kids.

In a world filled with heartache, the only way to stay positive, is to focus on the good. And although the bad seems so heavy and often clouds the view of the good, there is still good out there, sometimes you just have to look a little harder.

In a world filled with tragedies, there will still always be…

Teachers not working for the pay check, because Lord knows they don’t do it solely for the money. They spend countless hours prepping and preparing, loving and hugging our babies. They feed the curious, they wipe the tears, they build up the next generation. They pour their heart into other people’s children each and every day.

Now that’s something good.

There will still always be strangers helping strangers. There will always be people that still hold the door open for the person behind them or give up their seat for the pregnant mom in the crowded waiting room. There will still always be strangers that rally for people they’ve never met. They will show up after hurricanes and provide food, shelter, and hugs to those displaced. There will still always be church families that travel the world in hopes of spreading good news. There will always be people giving funds to provide a better life to people they will never meet.

Now that’s something good.

There will still always be neighbors that will become your village and your extended, chosen, family. Neighbors that will drop everything to help you when life gets hard. Neighbors that hold hands a funerals and come to hold your newborn within hours of their birth. The kind of neighbors that bring you a warm meal when your husband travels or replenish your wine supply when yours is running low.

Now that’s something good.

There will always be children giving to children. There will always be kids with a tender heart that want to donate school supplies, toys, and warm clothes to other kids that don’t have them. There will always be kids that stop to help the kid that dropped their books, or sit with the kid sitting alone.

Now that’s something good.

Your turn. Tell me something good.

Mom Code

A friend comes over for a play date and my house looks like a tornado struck my kitchen. Muffin crumbs are strung within a 10 foot radius of our table, juice (or possibly urine) is puddled under the table. Crafts from the night before are still glued to the table and 10 markers are missing their caps. But that friend walks in for our play date and doesn’t mention the mess, but swoops in and hugs my kids and zaps her cold cup of coffee in the microwave for the 4th time of the day.

That’s mom code.

No one mentions the mess, we’re just living life together in survival mode.

Walking into Target on the rare occasion that I am sans kids, and I see a mom in the dollar spot with one screaming baby in the cart, pouring out snacks from a bag she most likely opened from the shelves in the store, and the other kids hanging backwards off the front of the cart. Another kids makes a bee line for the front door and the mom scrambles to make the quick decision to abandon her cart full of kids or dart after the runaway. I jump into mom mode and grab the strange kid and block the doorway. Her thankful expression says it all. She is exhausted, embarrassed and thankful to have found another mom on the same journey. Our eyes meet and we both know we both get it.

That’s mom code.

No one mentions that chaos, we just dive in to help a fellow mom.

A mom is in the newborn haze, covered in milk (both spit up and from her breasts). Her hair is in a ball on top of her head, and her eyes are glazed over from lack of sleep and a screaming baby. Two moms show up with cleaning supplies, a hot meal, and a sound machine (for mom, not the baby). The two friends jump into action, one cleaning the kitchen and the other picking up the playroom. No one asked for help, but it is always welcomed with open arms.

That’s mom code.

No one has to ask, because likely no one ever will.

Mom code is doing for each other because we’ve all been there. We know the exhaustion and hormones can turn a mom into a mess. No one got through this mom journey alone. It really does take a village and a huge understanding of the Mom code.

We make motherhood look different

People have been doing motherhood since the dawn of time. A caveman (or cave-WOman) did it with far less gadgets than I could ever survive on. Motherhood has existed for generations retelling the same events in millions of different lights.

They are born. We raise them. They leave our nest. But there’s some much that happens in between. Motherhood has so many common threads, but we all go about it in different ways. We all have a different perspective. A different story. A different view. All resulting in a different take home message.

That’s motherhood.

We’re all different.

We’re all on a different path.

Working toward a common goal.

To raise good humans.

We take the best of what we’re given and try to sprinkle it over the little humans we’re trying to raise.

In our little world within our 4 walls and the big picture too.

For more stories like this, follow me on FB at Raising Humble with Michelle Tate
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Strong like a mother

We are built for this mom thing. Our bodies are made to be stretched and re-shaped in ways we didn’t think we possible. We were made to carry the extra weight even when it’s painful.

We are built for labor and delivery. We are built to overcome the pain, and then continue to give our bodies over to our babies within minutes of birth. Nursing those little humans we love instantly.

We push through.

We bounce back.

Handing our bodies over.

Surrendering to Mother Nature.

We were perfectly built and prepare to do hard things. We are built to run on little sleep and cold cups of coffee. Built to carry other people’s hearts and their burdens too.

We carry them on our hip and in our hearts. We kiss boo boos and comfort the scared and the tired.

We are built with a tough outer shell that takes a beating and can still dish out an abundance of unconditional love for our little ones. It’s amazing how strong a mad three year old can be. Hitting and throwing punches, screaming at us. But we’re right there waiting when they’re ready to calm down, welcoming them with a hug and to kiss their red, sweaty face.

Moms are resilient.

We are built for this.

We are strong like a mother.

For more stories like this, follow me on Fb @raisinghumble
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